hard questions are like dodgeball...

So do you know I have been a foster parent for the past nine years? Yup! I have seen 20 children come and go from my home. Now i have to admit i have not had any children since my divorce 4 years ago. Oh boy i could tell you some stories about my little children that i have seen. Well Jordan my oldest son was my second placement from the foster care system. When i started with this it was not my intention to adopt, it was more i want to be that helping hand, you know the pit crew. These kids never asked to be put in this situation. For the most part i only took drug babies.

Jordan was a baby when he came, 13months old. He is one of 16 children and he is number 10 in the birth order. Now i must tell you, he can barely handle being a child of three, i cannot imagine what it would have been like for him to be one of 16!!! I think he would prefer being an only child. I am not sure if when i went to pick up the second twin from the hospital, it was a clue. I thought it would be family like and cool if we included everyone in this process. Oh the hormones. We got there, Jordan, was waiting with Raymond and out i came with another baby, he threw himself on the floor, screaming "NO MORE BABIES" Oh what a day....

Now, after finding out i was having twins Jordan's parents rights were terminated, they asked if we would like to adopt him. Well this beautiful little boy had lived with me for a year now and i was in love with him and how could i let him go back into the system for someone else to love. He was mine and i knew it. About six weeks after the twins were born, we officially adopted Jordan. It was a pretty cool day i must say. In one year i went from not being a mom to giving birth to twin boys and adopting another little boy. Now that is how to have children all in one full swoop.

Ok i will try to spare you the details of the divorce, which most you know, but i am divorced and have sole custody and he only has supervised visits at this point. I have to say i am very open with all my children and love to tell them the story of when they arrived in my life be it by the blue car from DCF or in the delivery room at yale....I love telling those stories and i think ihave told them so many times i think my children believe they remember that time.

So questions, oh boy, i just think sometimes when there are two parents it is easy to say, "go ask your dad". or have a conversation with another adult discussing what should be said. All these boy questions, well so far so good. Who knew? I called a friend once, embarrassingly enough, to ask if the button on mens underwear was for show or it was really used...you get the picture. When they found that great feature on the underwear! The joys! I am a girl, my underwear is one piece no holes....the whole lifting the seat thing is funny too. Aim is not good in my house, it is like they have shiny object syndrome....someone going to the bathroom, a brother walks by and they turn to talk. The bath mat is washed all the time! This in time i hope will end. Anyone know?

Okay so one of the questions today was from Jordan. He asked if our family was from another country. Oh my, at first i went on to say that all our ancestors are from England. That mommy is a part of the Mayflower and Bradford society as we can trace our roots to Governor Bradford.

Then I stopped. Hard question. Now i have all three boys in the car. Jordan knows he is adopted. I paused and said, "Jordan you are luck you have extra relatives." oh god how am i getting out of this....

Now the questions started...questioning who is real mommy was...I stopped them all and said I was HIS REAL MOMMY. He was a gift to me as the twins were gifts. They come in all packages and all different ways. So now, well who is his other mom...now i have to explain well you know how mommy and daddy made the twins, (oh god i was in trouble again, "you made us"? Crap) I carried on with the question flying around the car....Jordan has another mom and dad that made him. Then it was well why are you not with daddy.....oh god i am not ready! i am SO not ready.

So i dodged the questions as best i could, it was almost like a horrible game of dodge ball in middle school. I was that skinny awkward kid in the back that never spoke, always the first out...... I was searching for the gym teacher to blow the whistle to end this...so i used the shiny object syndrome to my advantage, i told them all how much i loved them and how special they were to me. that they always needed to remember mommy is not perfect and that she does the best she knows how....oh wait....what is that, a cool song on the radio.....someone in the back of the car yells out, "turn up the song I love this one, listen to me sing it!" ahhh phew the gym teacher blew the whistle.

I know the questions are going to get harder. I know i am going to have to do a lot of explaining... i just wish they came with an instruction book. I wish someone could tell me what to say and when to say it. I know my song trick is not going to work forever as Jordan has caught onto some of my tricks...

peace out.